Archive for October, 2012

Aug 28 – Sept 8

October 29, 2012 Leave a comment

Two months have passed since I’ve blogged. As I told you in my last post I have embarked upon a media fast, along with a ton of other endeavors tied to the same discipleship program. I have one week left of this fast, but am clearly being a bit leanient with myself. I don’t really care too much to explain the complexities of the fast or the fruit that has come from it, in any specific way, at this time, but rather wish to share with you my various journaling ideas in a rapid fire procession. I will write through the month of September. Near the end did not journal as frequently, and thusly will end after 9-8-12. Enjoy.

“Lord, let me listen to you,. Open my ears to your word. Put a desaire in me to seek your voice, to hunger and thirst for your counsel… I feel defeated and naked like a city without wallsGrant me grace and protection. lead me not into temptation while I am vulnerable. I know my weakness. Send prophets to my  side to aide me. Send angles to tend to me lord. Wrap me in your arms. God, put me in time out like a child; turn me from the harm of my own ways.”

8-29-12 [finding my finances lacking and rent bing due in 4 days]
“Lord, teach me to rely on you. I don’t know why I’m asking for that when you’ve thrust it upon me. I suppose I should ask you to help me find success in it. God I want only you. You’re the only thing that matters to me…
“God lead me to jagged rocky places that through me you make smooth stones. God, I want your peace. Increase Lord. Increase in peace. Let our peace captivate those near me.”

9-4-12 [In reflection of an endeavor to praise the Lord with every word]
My endeavor to make every word praise is better called a struggle… I’m reminded of Proverbs 28:1 “The wicked flees though no one chases him but the righteous are as bold as a lion.” It’s not a struggle if I’m failing without even trying. The converse saying about the righteous does not comment on the result of boldness. Is victory assumed or is the mere fact of being bold a victory in itself?”

“Lord you escaped me today. My mind left you as I began work and did not return until just now. Let every word be praise, make every word worship. Let ever my tongue be silent but to call on the name of the Lord, let my Spirit be still but to glorify your name.

“God I am angry. I’m so pissed off… Is this righteous anger? Is this from you?… Lord, let me both a voice for the voiceless and and ear to them. I have a fear that the homless of Denton will feel rejected, but won’t they be? I fear that Christians who say, “you may not have free____” because someone is homless will destory the homless person’s ability to have freedom in You [God]. I fear that satan is winning [a specific Christian event]. I fear that Christians will say “we’ve done enough” or “some, is that not enought?” I fear we will learn to give, until we face sacrifices… Ifear living an Acts lifestyle will be discouraged. I fear that my friend will go hungry and be bitter in the face of rejection… I fear that worship will be cold and forced and uncomfortable. I fear that teachings will become stale. I fear that the Way will be sugarcoated to make it easy to swallow and easy to follow. I fear that the paths “to be made level” will instead be circumvented. I fear that God will say, “Away from me, I never knew you” I fear that Peter’s writings will perish, and the gospels, and the rest of the New Testament, then the Old. I fear the bible will not be the basis of our lives, nor the the guuide to our discission making. I fear that one “free ___ if…” will scar. Just one. I fear. Is not Love with limits merely a different form of hate?”

“God, I grow weary. I lose heart. My attention span is short, my fervor is weak. My emotions are absent. I simmply am not overwhelmed by love. I miss you… I long for you. My heart began to yearn just now, all of my body aches and my very being needs you! All of a sudden I begin to hunger for you and I am fed! The simple ache for you is also the remedy. It is a consciousness of you. Ah! You fulfill in the very need of fulfillment thank you! Please, stay and enjoy this crappy cup of coffee with me.”

Categories: Prayer