Home > Sexuality > Because I Love Women…

Because I Love Women…

Let me preface this by saying I don’t want to be aggressive or attacking any individual, yet I am waging war no less. This topic is deeply personal on a lot of various levels. I use strong language because it’s necessary to communicate my passion. I have to say in all honesty that it’s my love for women that excites my hatred, and not the other way around. Rather, it’s my love for people. My buddy Chris is to blame for putting together this list and wording it aptly to communicate accurately. Last I must say, this list is made to encourage conversation. These ideas are meant to be chewed and digested slowly in our minds and hearts, and pulled apart, mulled over, and hopefully instigate a change in perception. Please talk them out a coffee shop or online with me or your friends or whatever. Please don’t read and disregard after your first impression, keep this talk going.

I hate porn because…

It is violent and inhumane
It normalizes rape
It is racist
It is addictive
It is misogynistic
It is an exploitative multibillion dollar industry
It nurtures sex trafficking and child abuse
It limits sexual imagination
and because I LOVE WOMEN


  1. Cassie
    March 29, 2012 at 11:22 AM

    I would hate anything that did all those negative things you suggest, but I don’t think all porn does that. There is some porn or erotica which as a woman I enjoy and which I feel celebrates the beauty and nature of sexuality. Do you really feel your comments apply to all porn and erotica? What about erotic art for example? Where would you draw the line?

    • March 30, 2012 at 4:40 PM

      Cassie, I believe there is a connectedness between pornography. We have to stop thinking about porn in terms of a final product and start thinking about the process of production, the production companies, distributors, who the consumers are and their role in porn production, as well as where the “talent” the performers come from. Once we see pornography within an industrial context and see all the working parts it’s easier to see the truth of the things listed above, and it’s also easier to see there isn’t a line to draw. Porn that celebrates the beauty and nature of sexuality, I think I know what you mean when you say this, is produced by the same individuals and companies that produce mainstream pornography. I have done a little research into a particular company that I won’t mention publicly so as to not entice curiosity in some of my christian friends, and have found some interesting things. One is that the site seems to be the only one affiliated with the producers who have an independent company. In mainstream porn there are a few production companies that have tons of websites. It’s kind of like Johnson and Johnson or colgate-palmolive have a ton of companies they own that have a ton of products. So usually there’s an extreme conectedness in that way between porn that seems to not be ____Whatever___, and porn that is. Getting back to the company I mentioned earlier, there is, however, a few problems that remain.
      This site exclusively uses women that look about 14-18, as nearly all porn does. In the list Chris compiled he called the relationship between porn and child abuse nurturing. I think that’s a pretty good example.
      Also, from their site women are promised $10,000 plus travel expenses to work for them, as well as a chance to work with some of the top photographers in the world. Yes the finished product of this site seems to be celebrating the beauty and nature of sexuality, but when money is involved it’s not really. It’s a sales trick to get you to pay for their product. THey have to use young women that look even younger because they’re more beautiful in front of a camera. They also contain a look that works for celebrating beauty and freedom of sexuality. But that’s not really what they’re doing. The porn producers are making money and so are the performers. It’s a scam. Hints the “exploitative multibillion dollar industry”. It’s not a celebration, it’s an industry.
      Also, this porn is still misogynistic. It ends when the man comes. The women is a sexual object to gratify the object of the man. The fact that the men are not the dominant object on camera allows for consumers, home viewers, to enjoy the women on screen with the male performers playing as little a role as possible to get off. That means the porn is made for men, around the functions of a man. That’s another sales technique as well. Even beautiful porn that celebrates sexuality is based not around sexuality but a man’s coming- a very small part of sex.
      Probably the most interesting thing I found is the live web cam link. I’ve known that all websites have those now, and that not all web sites could possibly have their own performers at home on webcams all the time. There must be some group of webcam streamers that lease out their products, the girls, to site to have a webcam page. I was right. That’s exactly what happens, and after digging for maybe a minute I found the source, I’m sure just one of many, for live web performances. These web cam shows have to be a huge source of income for these porn sites otherwise they wouldn’t all have links to them, right? And these webcam sites are not based around the beauty of sexuality. They’re based around women lying to people on the other side of the conversation. They have a rhetoric they’ve learned to help them pull virtual tricks. Often what they type is not from them but from someone else off camera. Who knows who that person is, probably a pimp, who promises any sexual act to be performed if they viewer pays the right price, with no consultation of the performer. If the same website that cares about beauty and the nature of sexuality could use such means to make quick money- often at the price of beauty and the nature of sexuality, then what else are they willing to do, or have they done. Perhaps the individuals who make and run the company are also involved with mainstream porn or some other kind of porn. Are the girls really getting paid the 10,000 promised? (I doubt it). Anyways, just something to think about.

      • Cassie
        March 30, 2012 at 5:32 PM

        I made a post in my own blog today largely reflecting on some of the things you said in your original post. Would you like me to provide a link back to your blog?

  2. March 29, 2012 at 11:30 AM

    I am against porn, but I think you will have an issue selling some of these ideas as it does not pertain to all porn or to all people. That has always been a challenge, especially from Christians, when trying to establish a right and wrong view point that not all people totally fit the categories, so it gives them an escape so to speak.

    I am not sure about the racist aspect though. How do you see porn as being racist?

    • March 30, 2012 at 4:56 PM

      Xander, I know I will have a hard time selling some of these ideas, if not all of them. It’s so counter to what we’re being told. That’s why I think it’s important to tell people. Also, I do think that these ideas pertain to all porn. I would say that maybe not all porn reflects all of these ideas, but three minimum, if we spend some time in thought. Those three would be addictive, nurturing sex trafficking and child porn (and I’d add forced application of unwanted sexual acts to that) and finally it limits sexual imagination. More often it will also be misogynistic, and I’m not sure that it shouldn’t be a fifth always kind of idea.
      Now that I think about it the exploitative multibillion dollar industry is also true. There is no free porn my friends. Think about no consumer has ever paid a penny to facebook (except the recent installments of farmville and other apps), yet it’s a multibillion dollar company though advertisements. No, there’s no free porn.

      Racism. Chris Hedges writes in his book Empire of Illusion, “And porn is overtly racist. Black men in porn films are primitive animals, brawny and illiterate studs with vast sexual prowess. Black women are filled with raw, animalistic lust. Latina women are hot and racy. Asian women are sexually submissive geishas.” He goes on to mention some porn titles up for awards… “Get that black pussy you big dick with bastard muttha fucka, My daughter went black and never came back, and Oh No, There’s a Negro in my Mom! That’s not all of the racism. In every interracial mainstream porn there is an acknowledgement of a stereotype and then a fulfillment, along with lots of racist name calling within a sexual context, of course. There’s porn based around the “taboo” of white people and black people. There’s porn where white guys in police uniforms stop latin women and threaten to deport them if they don’t perform sexual favors for them. And this is not on the fringes of porn my friend, it’s at the forefront.

      • March 30, 2012 at 6:54 PM

        The world will always try to justify porn by showing you the side that is “not so bad” in contrast to the harsh side of what porn truly becomes. That is true with anything that is not of God though. If we can rationalize that some is better than others, then it helps us justify it to ourselves and then we compromise. Showing sex scenes in movies is ok, but not hard core porn, even though they are conveying the same message.

        Some porn is misogynistic, but then there is the side that empowers women and celebrates women enjoying their sexuality. I have worked in the sex industry so I have seen both sides of it. It truly is dangerous, but you honestly have more damage towards women coming from the women’s rights movement than just porn trying to make a woman play a certain role. Women are encouraged to explore their sexuality and not be happy with just one partner. You can see the “cuckold” movement gaining traction as men want to watch their girlfriends and wives having sex with other men and they play a subservient role or women want to be unfaithful to their weak men and flaunt themselves being gratified by other men.

        Racism seems to follow along the path of a fetish, as it appeals to those who like the excitement of seeing something that is “taboo”. People get the excitement from that and then move on to act it out and not really trying to oppress any race. Cruise craigslist and you can see ad after ad of people trying to add black men to their sexual experiences.

        I am glad you are taking a stand against porn. More people need to, but they give into the lie that not all porn hurts people.

  3. March 30, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    You say you are at war with porn. Cassie raises the issue of erotica. This shows that one person’s erotica is another person’s porn. Are you also at war with erotica? Apparently so. What about art? Personal expression? Where does – where can – this issue find settlement you call porn?

    You have no right to impose your definition of porn on Cassie or me. Cassie will decide where her line is drawn as will I as will you. That is our collective right, shared equally even if they are drawn in different places. It’s not your job or mine to tell adults engaged in legal activities that respects the same rights for all what they may or may not do based on your line no matter how much you think your line justified. People are allowed to make choices regardless if you or I think they are good or poor ones. That’s what freedom of choice means in action. That some people profit from poor ones is laissez faire economics in action.

  4. March 30, 2012 at 7:03 PM

    Comment awaiting moderation? You’ve got to be kidding me!

  5. March 31, 2012 at 8:20 PM

    Still in moderation?

  1. March 30, 2012 at 5:20 PM

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