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A note from a friend

October 8, 2011 7 comments

I found this in an email today, that my friend wrote to me back in 2008. I’m not sure why I’m posting it, but I’ll try to come up with a few possible ideas, and explain after the quote.

1) it’s got good theology.

2) it’s honest.

3) I need friendships with deep roots like this.

4) Kate can understand.

” i pray for you all the time, that god is putting you through just enough hardships and giving you more than enough blessings to make you who he needs and wants you to be. whether that means in preparation for a wife that will come along, or just for a situation where you need to play the role god needs you to. i care so much for you carl, and i never want to lose our friendship. i need you to know this, but dont over analyze it. i love you, in not just a friend way, but not anything more than good friends. i care about you more than some of my other friends because you are always sincere and i can get a straight, genuine answer from you. you dont understand how much i appreciate, and admire that about you. i am 102% positive that god has an amazing plan for your life because of your devotion and passion to do the things you love. youre really an amazing person, and i have had so much fun getting to know you over the last few years. youre one of my best friends, even when we dont talk all the time.”

1) I’ve never heard a better explanation of Godly discipline outside of C.S. Lewis and the bible itself. The idea of having enough hardship to be the people God designed us to be is brilliant. I’ve talked about his before on this blog, and I’m gonna do it again. We’re like children, who decide what is good based on what stimulates our sensory. In short we like shiny things that taste good. God being our father knows that not all shiny things are actually good, despite how they may look. So he says no. And humanity, overwhelmed with desire and the first taste of stimulation rebel against the father who ‘just doesn’t want us to have fun”. Guys, daddy knows best. He disciplines to make us become the creation he made before we perverted his work.

2) Something that has become very important to me over the years is honesty. It’s odd because I’m fasting from sarcasm today so that I can be genuinely encouraging without be hindered. Before 10 this morning I was sarcastic at least 5 times. I woke up at 9:30… So today already I have learned how honesty is eluding me still. But this sentiment from my friend is an honest portrayal of her heart and her thoughts. Even when building someone up with those kinds of words I often hesitate and hold it inside and don’t encourage because it’s weird or whatever crappy excuse I have. I wish I could be more honest than just not lying.

3) I have friends, and some really ridiculously good ones. But 3 of my 5 best friends have left relationship with God behind in the past couple years. That’s difficult. It’s difficult to see people who have trouble relating to God to such an extent that he’s no longer real to them. It makes me struggle, because when all of the intellectualism is pushed aside and I’m done disproving those who disprove God all I have left is relationship. But if 3 of every 5 people earnestly seeking don’t get that relationship, then what? What have I left to believe in? a 2/5ths God? That’s all not really the point. The point is I need to be in relationships where myself and the other person are the objects of our holy affection. I love this friend of mine in a massive way. I think that’s just about the only way to get close to saying how much I care. I need mutual encouragement. How exciting would that be? Very.

4) I wrote in a blog a while back about my friend JM whom I love, and is on the top of my 5 best friends list. I wrote about how I wanted her to be forgiven in my place, that I can suffer any consequence and she be saved. I don’t know what I think about hell anymore. I don’t like the idea, but not believe in truth doesn’t make it less true. It’s impossible to read through Matthew and say that Jesus doesn’t believe in eternal damnation. But I don’t like it. So I don’t know. This quote was from JM a little over a year before she decided she wasn’t a disciple. Kate commented on that blog asking questions about her and how I could have that sort of disposition. Hopefully this is a bit of a better answer. The girl who wrote this to me is someone that I can’t let go of. But, maybe that’s my problem. Anyways. Peace.

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